


How to Watchover Your Godchild

by Raisans_Grapeon



Series: Godfather Techno [1]
Category: Dream SMP - Fandom, Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Child Wilbur Soot, Dadza, Domestic Fluff, Fluff, Gen, Godfather Technoblade, I lied, Light Angst, Parent Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF), Piglin Technoblade (Video Blogging RPF), Protective Parent Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF), Protective Technoblade (Video Blogging RPF), Techno needs to get used to toddlers, Technoblade and Phil Watson are Friends, Technoblade is Stressed, Technoblade's Grade A Parenting, Wilbur Soot and Technoblade are Not Siblings, barely there, extremely light, its THERE, sleepy bois inc - Freeform, still light tho
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-14
Updated: 2021-01-25
Packaged: 2021-03-18 17:34:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,878
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28747017
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Raisans_Grapeon/pseuds/Raisans_Grapeon
Summary: Techno wished he had the guts to stand his ground and tell Phil “no.” But they’ve been friends for years now, and one week with Phil’s toddler shouldn’t be too bad. He was the kid’s godfather, and he’s watched Wilbur before. It really shouldn’t be too bad
Relationships: Technoblade & Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF), Wilbur Soot & Technoblade, Wilbur Soot & Technoblade & Phil Watson
Series: Godfather Techno [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2107524
Comments: 55
Kudos: 260





	1. Just One Week

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, and welcome to the fic! I really appreciate you giving this a shot since I know Non-Family SBI is kinda uncommon but I hope this is family enough for your liking!
> 
> If you are interested in Godfather Techno, my art account on Tumblr, @raisans-art, has some art pieces for it as well as a few lore asks answered! And, of course, you can ask your own questions there as well!
> 
> Small thing: I am not a professional, nor am I taking any creative writing courses or have ever taken a creative writing course. That being said, I gladly will take criticism as long as it's polite! I want to get better at telling stories of all kinds and it would mean the world to me if you could help me out there!
> 
> Enjoy the fic!

“Please, Techno! Just a week! I’ll be back before you know it. And plus, Wil is a good kid! He won’t cause trouble!” Philza was on the verge of getting on his knees before his friend’s hooves in desperation. 

Standing stern and stubborn, Techno snorted. “I don’t think a trade deal is reason enough for you to leave your 2-year-old with me for any amount of time.” His arms were locked tight across his chest as he glared with disinterest down at the human that seemed to be deepening his bow and raising his clasped hands higher at the same time. He grumbled, “You don’t even need to go trade for ender pearls. You can just kill endermen yourself and get them for free during the night while Wilbur is asleep.” The piglin’s arm swept out in a gesture to the plains the stretched outside of Phil’s oak shutters.

“Wil could wake up in the middle of the night! Or a zombie might break the door down while I’m gone! And it takes forever to hunt down a lot of endermen in the night anyway! One week, Techno, that’s all I ask!” Phil was nearly folded over on himself, eyes squeezing shut as he pleaded.

Resignment pushed out of Techno in a huff, his shoulders slumping forward as he wearily muttered, “Fine, Phil. But you owe me for this.”   
  


In an instant, the blond was straight-backed and gripping his Nether-friend’s shoulders with delight. “Oh, you wonderful piglin you!” he cried with a grin that nearly split his face in half. He continued, immediately taking note of the disgruntled look on Techno’s face, “Think of it like this: You get to have some bonding time with your godchild! That’ll be fun, right?” Not waiting for denial or affirmation, Phil peeled off to begin rummaging through a chest.

Behind him, Technoblade merely rubbed his eyes and wrinkled his snout. Even when he was a part of his clan, he never was too fond of children. The young piglins that scurried between the hooves of the roaming parties garnered no endearment from him, and the notion that his duty to the clan was to help raise the little piglets did not work in favor of the smaller beings. Now, granted, Wilbur was a human child, 2 years of age. Techno only had experience with 6 and older piglins on Nether time, but from what he saw of the 2-year-olds that were still mainly reared by the biological father and mother, they mostly were content to sit and make as little noise as possible. Taking that into consideration, maybe it wouldn’t be as bad of a time as Techno initially presumed. Surely human children couldn’t be too different from piglin children. While Wilbur did get rather… excited when Techno was over, he figured it was because it was someone else at his house other than his dad.

Phil finally pulled out a book from his chest and rounded back over to his friend to pass it off to him. “Here’s what he eats and what you can expect from him! I need to get ready to leave, so read up!” And with that, the door to Phil’s room clicked shut before Techno could even begin interrogating him about why he wrote the book before he even knew if Techno would say yes.

“Tek!”

The tiny squeak of a voice called for Techno to turn towards the small form that currently stretched up to grip on the railing of the stairs. Wide, brown eyes glistened as a chubby cheeked smile broke out across the toddler’s face.

“Hello, Wilbur,” was all Techno cared to respond with.

Wilbur squealed, “TEEEEK!” as he fumbled down the final two steps of the staircase and sprinted over to hug the piglin’s leg. “Tek is here! Dah said so!” The small child was practically vibrating.

Sighing, Techno went through the moves of dealing with Wil, stooping down to lift the toddler up and hold him out at arm’s length. “It’s late, Wilbur. Shouldn’t you be sleeping?”

“I wanna see Tek!” 

Definitely not endearing. “You’re gonna have plenty of time to see me this week.”

A tiny gasp followed by an overjoyed whisper. “Really?!”

Not endearing at all. “Really.”

The cheer and excitement could no longer be expressed through words, and Wil began to thrash and bounce in Techno’s large hands to get the energy out.

The opposite of endearing.

Unwilling to continue holding the unruly child any longer, Techno placed the kid’s feet back on the wood planks of the flooring, back to watching him vibrate where he stood.

Phil’s door creaked open again, the man now donning his outer coat and elytra with a small satchel of emeralds at his hip. One quick sweep over the scene and Phil frowned down at his child. “Wilbur Soot Minecraft! What are you doing out of bed, son?”

The bouncing slowed to a soft rocking as Wilbur looked down at his toes. “I jus’ wanna see Tek,” he mumbled, audibly downtrodden.

Almost instantaneously, Phil softened, reaching out for Wil. The curly-haired tot scuttled over to his father, allowing Philza to scoop him up in his arms, both father and son brightening up considerably. “You still need sleep, son. Techno will still be here in the morning,” he soothed, rustling his child’s hair a bit and earning a giggle from the latter.

“Can we have eggs tomorrow?” Wil asked, hands reaching out and smooshing Phil’s cheeks to feel the course shadow of his beard.

Smiling gently, Phil’s hand slowed from tossing Wil’s curls to a soft, combing motion, fixing the mess he made. “You’ll have to ask Techno about that one, son.”

Wilbur made confused noise and began to ask something else, but Techno was already leaving, making a beeline for the guest room that was only ever occupied by him. From the sounds of it, the conversation was going to get emotional quickly, and he did not sign up for that.

\--

Morning cut into the bedroom through the shutters, golden rays warming up the brown wool blanket that draped over Techno’s bulky form. Sure, he was awake, but that didn’t mean that Techno had to open his eyes. He was perfectly content to remain sprawled out on the mattress, his hands free to the cooling autumn air and his torso and legs sufficiently covered. Still steeped in the blissful weight of his sleep that carried over from last night, Techno held out hope that he could slip back under without a fight. He had nothing to do today anyway. It was supposed to be a relaxed day at home.

The dull thunk of tiny footsteps against wood got Techno’s eyebrows to furrow. Distantly, he began to wonder what would be making that noise in his house.

The noise crescendoed until his bedroom door creaked open. Reluctantly, Technoblade cracked his eyes open to see a ceiling that definitely wasn’t his. Red eyes flicking down, he noted that the blanket was the guest bed’s lime green and the little noisemaker was standing in the doorway across the room from the foot of the bed. Wilbur stood on his toes, both hands still stretching up and resting on the wooden knob of the door. The 2-year-old was looking right at Techno with eyes brimming with tears.

There was no strike of concern that prompted Techno to ask his godchild what was wrong.

His chest felt completely fine when Wilbur sniffed as mucus began to run out of his nose and hiccuped out, “I-I c-can-n’t fi-find D-Dah.”

Techno was most definitely irritated that he had to get up and console his friend’s child this early in the morning. He crouched down to get as close to eye-level he could with Wilbur and placed his calloused hand on top of the kid’s head. “Phil told you last night,” he began to explain, grogginess roughening his voice up. “He needed to go out for a week. It’s just you and me, Wilbur.” As much as he wished it wouldn’t’ve, the reminder only made Wil cry harder. The toddler reached out and made grabby hands. A beat of confusion passed before Techno took the sobbing mess into his arms and stood. “Crybaby…” he muttered halfheartedly before making his way out into the kitchen to make eggs.

Setting Wil down on one of the dining room chairs to get the last of his tears out, Technoblade went to work, pulling out some eggs from a chest full of foodstuffs and lighting the stove. Waiting for the surface to heat up, Techno turned to look back at the kid he was supposed to be taking care of. Wilbur was red in the face and looked like an absolute wreck, cheeks flushed and wet from crying and snot still coming out of his nose. At least he seemed to be trying to stop it using his yellow sweater sleeves. 

Thinking it over, Techno ran into a question. “Why are you so worked up over this, huh? This isn’t the first time Phil’s left.” He had enough wherewithal to note how blunt he was being, but this was Phil’s kid. He could take it.

A few more sniffs from Wilbur and he shook his head, his high-pitched and raw voice responding, “D-Dah is a-always b-back in th’ m-morn-nin’.”

_ Oh _ , Techno passively thought. He conceded that point. He had been around to watch Wil during the day while Phil went hunting or mining, but this was the first time Phil would be absent over the course of multiple nights. Quickly deciding what to do, Techno turned back to the stove and grabbed one of the eggs, changing the subject. “How do you want your eggs cooked?”

“Uuuh… s-scrambl’,” was all Wil mumbled out.

Nodding, Techno got out a bowl from one of the overhead cupboards and cracked the eggs into it, beating them with a fork. It took till the eggs were nearly done for Wil’s sniffs and occasional sobs to quiet completely. With breakfast ready, Techno portioned out the eggs and sat down across from his godchild, and began to eat.

Wilbur ate as well, though his energy levels from yesterday had gone down significantly, eating with less vigor than usual. The table was blessedly quiet, and Techno couldn’t be happier about it. The last thing he wanted in the morning was to have Wil chattering with his mouth full, even if he was sorta expecting it.

It was just the sound of chewing.

And of forks hitting bowls.

...

Ok, he couldn’t take it. “What’s wrong, Wilbur?”

Wil looked up at Techno briefly before focusing on his eggs again. “I miss Dah.”

Heaving out another sigh, Techno ate the last bit of egg in his bowl and rested the fork across the top. “He’ll be back in a week, Wilbur, you’ll be fiiine,” he drawled, punctuating his point with an eye-roll. After depositing his dishes into the washing cauldron, he rounded back to the table, pulling out the book Phil had given him last night.

_ Foods Wil should eat: _

_ -eggs _

_ -steaks _

_ -mushroom soup _

_ -baked potatoes _

_ -salmon _

_ -please get him to eat carrots _

_ -apples _

_ Foods Wil can only have sparingly: _

_ -pumpkin pie _

_ -cake _

_ Foods Wil cannot have: _

_ -He keeps finding my golden apples and I don’t know how he does it _

_ p.s.: feel free to have a golden apple if you’re feeling a bit woozy. I’ve hidden them in a barrel in the attic for you _

_ He eats breakfast, lunch, dinner, and dessert. He wakes up around sunrise, by noon he’ll want lunch, and dinner is usually around sunset when the sky is orange. No, we don’t have a clock in the house. _

_ Try to get him outside. If he could, he’d sit in his room all day and look at my old maps and history books.  _

_ When he’s outside, make sure he has his compass on him. I got a loadstone for the house in case he gets lost. Just try to stay with him. He’s surprisingly quick for a 2 y/o.  _

_ Don’t let him near my room. I have some weapons on display and I don’t want him pricking himself on Forkza. _

_ And try to be nic- _

Techno closed the book. Guess that was all Phil wanted to say. Though, a few of the voices at the back of his mind began to nag as they woke up and began to get noisy. 

**_Insulting._ **

**_Dadza._ **

**_Does he think that low of us?_ **

**_Sad child._ **

**_EEEEE_ **

**_Dadza needs to calm down._ **

**_Bruuuuuh._ **

**_So, blood today?_ **

**_Who let Techno be in charge of children?_ **

**_Concerned Dadza_ **

**_WIIIIIIIILBUR_ **

At this point, Techno was wishing they would just ask for blood like usual. Though, that’s never how it is when he’s around Phil and Wil.

Looking back to Wilbur, the kid was only about halfway through his eggs.

“Wilbur, hurry up with your food.” It was a bit curt, but Techno just wanted to get the day over with so he could proceed to get the whole week over with.

Wil “hurrying up” still took another 20 minutes to finish off a bowl of scrambled eggs. And sure, Techno could’ve left at any point, but the last thing he wanted was to come back to see the kid had left eggs in his bowl to dry and require extra muscle to clean off. 

With breakfast finally over, Techno told the toddler to go off and do whatever while he figured out a game plan for the rest of the week. Wil was off like a shot, and it was just Techno and the voices as he sat and crafted what he wanted the routine to look like and what he could do in the downtime that didn’t require him leaving the house and Wilbur alone. 

As it turned out, Techno really couldn’t do much. Tending to Phil’s fields would only take up so much of the piglin’s day seeing as they were by no means as extensive as his own, just enough to support two people with some extra for trade. There were only so many weapons that he could clean, both his own and Phil’s. He couldn’t go mining or resource collecting without bringing Wilbur with him, which would be a nuisance. He couldn’t even go out and satiate the voices’ call for blood, even if having Wilbur around would tone down the command for it.

Technoblade snorted, snout scrunching in annoyance. Raking a hand through his pale pink hair, he stood to check the sun. It was nearing noon. 

At least it was something to do.

It was simple. Phil had two bowls of mushroom soup sitting in a chest so he heated them up over the fire and set them out for lunch. It took a couple of calls, but Wil eventually came barreling down the stairs. After struggling to pull himself up onto his seat for a second, the toddler was going all-in on the soup with the energy he was lacking during breakfast. Techno couldn’t care less about this tiny fact and just ate his soup alongside Wil.

“Ok Wilbur,” Techno started after they were done eating, placing the kid’s bowl in the cauldron. “What do you want to do?” Wil opened his mouth, but couldn’t get anything out before Techno cut in. “What do you want to do outside? Phil wants you to do outdoor things so you don’t say skinny forever.”

Left with serious contemplation, Wil “uhm”-ed and “eh”-ed until he ultimately shrugged. “Can I look at maps outside?”

“No,” came Techno’s short response.

“Can I look at picture-books outside?” Wil prodded.

“No,” came again.

“Can you read to me outside?”

“No.”

“Can you sing?”

“Do you have pigstep?”

“No…?”

“Then no.”

Irritation began to set in Wilbur. “What else is there to do?”

Techno tried to think about things he did as a young piglin, but a lot of them wouldn’t be possible to do in the overworld unless they found a lava pit. Groaning, Techno threw his head back. “Listen, I don’t care, just go run around outside. Get some salt and pour it on slugs or whatever.” With that, Technoblade began ushering the 2-year-old outside, closing the door behind both of them. Wilbur wandered aimlessly, looking around for something while Techno found a nearby, sprawling oak to sit under and do some axe maintenance. Sighing and pulling his hair out of its braid, Techno longed to be at his own house with his potato farm and mines, not stuck at Phil’s with his kid.

If he was at all honest, he didn’t really know what being Wilbur’s godfather entailed. Phil didn’t exactly give him a very good rundown of the title, just coming to the Nether one day with an infant Wilbur bundled in his arms, asking if Techno wanted to stay in the overworld permanently and be Wil’s godfather. Techno had been itching to get out of the Nether for years since Phil began trading with his clan and he was willing to do anything to help Phil in repayment for finding a cure to the zombification problem. Maybe he should’ve asked for more details.

Godfathers weren’t a thing in piglin culture. The clan itself raised the youth, skills being taught by those who were the best at them and the rest watching over the children passively to make sure they didn’t die by hoglins or falling into a hole. That, Technoblade could handle, especially since there were at least 4 others keeping an eye out as well. 

This was different. From what he saw, humans just raise their young by themselves, and it seemed as though Phil was already short a person. So, he basically called Techno to fill that second role to a lesser degree. Is that was being a godfather was? If so, he really got himself into some deep shit.  _ At least Wilbur is relatively ok by himself. Just like any good piglin child,  _ he passively thought to himself while he worked a polish into the leather on the handle of his axe. 

The leather on his axe…

Phil’s book…

Techno’s head snapped up as he looked around frantically.

There was no curly-haired toddler in sight.

“Oh god, I lost Wilbur.”


	2. Don't Tell Philza

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It hasn't even been a day yet and Techno has already lost the child.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! Welcome to chapter two! A tad shorter, but I didn't want to start the next day and leave you guys on another cliffhanger. Still, I hope you enjoy this chapter!
> 
> Any critiques and general comments, as per usual, are welcome, treasured, and enthusiastically encouraged by me! So please, drop your thoughts when you're done reading! It means the world to me!
> 
> Enjoy!

“Crap, crap, crap, crap!” Hectic mumbling spilled out of Technoblade as he stuttered in place before resolving to rush back inside the spruce and oak cottage. “CRAP! How am I supposed to-- I gotta find him!” Mind running a mile a minute, he skidded around to every chest and barrel he could find, searching the contents and picking up things that might help him find his godchild.  _ Oh gods I lost my damn godchild Phil is going to murder me!  _ His thoughts ran circles around each other in a panic, not helped by the voices collectively clamoring together to scream in a mix of fear, laughter, and calls for blood. “Aaaah, why did the kid have to go and get lost on the first day!?” 

Filling his bag with what potions he could find around the house, a crossbow and arrows, sword, shield, practically everything, Techno stumbled across what looked like a steel pocket watch. Quickly flicking it open, it revealed itself to be a compass, “Home” inscribed on the inside of the lid in looping cursive. Techno knew exactly where the compass was  _ supposed  _ to be.

“Technoblade, you moron!” the piglin growled under his breath before sliding the compass into his pocket. How did he manage to mess up so badly? He skipped over the only requirements Phil had for taking Wilbur outside and now the kid was out in the middle of-- God, Techno didn’t even know what biome Wil could be at this point! Taking a quick look at the sky, orange began to stain the horizon. It’s been actual _hours._ _I swear oh my god that kid could be anywhere Philza is gonna Killza me oh god I fucking LOST HIS KID!_

A few forceful smacks against his cheeks knocked Techno’s head back into action.  _ Phil doesn’t need to know if I can find Wilbur, and the longer I wait the further out he gets. No more thinking, just action. _ With that finalizing thought, the piglin picked himself up into a jog and chose to begin searching in the direction he last saw Wil go in, towards the tree line into the spruce and oak forest.

The setting sun cast long shadows that drenched the woods in premature darkness, very few golden rays breaking through needles and leaves to meet the grassy floor. Still, there was enough light for Techno to work with without a torch and for the monsters to stay resting for now. However, that time was waning fast. The mere thought of mobs rising for the night caused Techno to pump his arms faster and push off the dirt with more force. Determination stitched his eyebrows together as he darted between trunks and ducked under branches, his undone hair flaring out with every movement and picking up debris. The voices were screeching and hollering, encouraging and urging him onward through the thicket and demanding protection of his godchild and death upon whatever found him first.  _ Whatever,  _ Techno’s own thought interjected,  _ I don’t have time to think about them right now. Just Wilbur and the thought that Phil might actually kill me.  _

After around ten minutes of running, Techno slowed to a pause, taking the pause to muster all the air he could, and hollered out, “WILBUR!” His call dispersed into the now blazing sky and shook birds from their roost.

1… 2… 3… 4… 5…

Nothing.

A sickening worry burned Techno’s chest as it wrapped around his lungs with a vice-like grip. He felt ready to throw up, subconsciously taking deep breaths to quell the nausea. He needed to keep going.

Deciding on a different direction, the piglin dashed through the woods once again, taking 5 minutes of running before he called out again. 5 seconds, and nothing. And so was his method.

Hours bled away and the world began to grow cold as dark blues began to drench the landscape. Techno’s chest was heaving at this point, muscles screaming for reprieve and voice holding onto its last threads as each cry pushed it further to the brink of failure. His voice began breaking by the 20th call and true panic worked its way into his tone by the 24th. Everything ached from his head right down to his hooves. Dodging arrows and sprinting past creepers only made desperation set into his bones, seeping to the marrow. His free-flowing, pale hair began to knot and matt, adorned with sticks, needles, and leaves held together with sap. Yet, despite his valiant efforts, Techno still had no sign that Wilbur was even here. He was far too tired to deny the way that thought added to the pressure against his eyes and the constricting of his chest.

Watching the last remnants of day die across the tree line struck a nail of reluctant defeat into Techno. By now, mobs have populated the forest, and Wilbur was still alone out there. He couldn’t stop here, but Techno became at a loss on what to do. A dry, weary huff squeezed out of heaving lungs with the raspy muttering of “so much for walking GPS.”

A sharp inhale through his snout, and Technoblade smacked at his cheeks. “Okay, Blade. There’s gotta be something I can do better. I’m Technoblade! I can find one toddler.” With his musings vocalized, he set himself to thinking again.

However, in thinking, he began to take note of something.

**_TECHNO!_ **

**_TECHNO!!_ **

**_LEFT_ **

**_LEFT_ **

**_LEFT_ **

**_GO LEFT_ **

**_TECHNO GO LEFT_ **

**_STOP BEING DUMB_ **

**_JUST TURN LEFT_ **

**_WIL IS LEFT_ **

**_TECHNO GO LEFT_ **

**_LEFT LEFT LEFT LEF_ **

**_GO GO GO_ **

**_RUN_ **

**_RUN LEFT_ **

The voices were oddly unanimous in their message and sounding rather irritated alongside their own panic. Blinking, Techno looked left. There was more forest, but there was a nearby mountain that rose up to the starry sky.  _ Had… the voices been shouting directions this whole time?  _ Techno wondered as he began to follow the voices’ demands, breaking into a jog again, hand resting on the hilt of his sword. Upon finally tuning back into what they were saying, the voices began to cheer, back to demanding blood alongside encouraging him to continue forward.

Through the thick, slashing quickly at interfering mobs, Techno made his way till the light of a torch broke through the dark. Emerging from the woods, he saw an exposed mineshaft, the entrance marked on either side by torch mounts. However, only one torch remained.  _ Someone had to have been here, _ Techno asserted to himself with whatever hope he could muster. The voices all seemed to agree, urging him to delve further and promising that Wil was in there.

With his torch in hand, Technoblade stalked into the shaft, keeping his hand on the pommel of his sword and eyeing up the stone corridors that dissolved into nothing.

Just as he took a breath to call again, Techno heard a sharp wail echo through the man-made system. He perked at the sound, ears straining to try to pinpoint the direction where the voice came from. In the moment, relief and concern rushed in all at once, fighting in his stomach. The cry was most definitely Wilbur, but it was a cry nonetheless.

Again, a pitiful screech of terror reverberated through the tunnels, bouncing off the walls in a way that was impossible to track. In the end, it just hurt the piglin’s head.

“WILBUR!” he called for the umpteenth time, his throat raw and protesting.

“TEK!!!” came a cry in response. 

A quick huff of fleeting, unabashed happiness passed before Techno was running again, a new drive pulling him onwards. The voices cheered and directed him through the maze of caves and railways. He could tell he was getting closer when he could not only hear the quieter cries of the toddler, but the sound of a horde of zombies groaning.

One final turn and Techno could see a light flickering down the hall as Wilbur stumbled over loose rocks on the ground, glancing over his shoulder to keep a fearful eye on the staggering mass of 5 zombies in pursuit. His tiny hands gripped a torch like a lifeline, using all his might to not let it slip out of his grasp.

“Wil!” Techno shouted, calling the crying child to attention. 

In an instant, Wilbur dropped his torch and did a final sprint towards the piglin. Techno discarded his torch as well in favor of stooping down to scoop Wil into his arm, his other hand gripping the handle of his sword and unsheathing it. The toddler sobbed and cried as tiny fists balled up the tattered fabric of Techno’s shirt, getting the other to hold the child closer and tighter. 

Blood red eyes trained themselves on the oncoming horde as the chants in Technoblade’s head crescendoed to new heights.

**_BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!_ **

**_BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!_ **

**_BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!_ **

**_BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!_ **

_ Blood for the Blood God. _

\--

The trek home was quieter. Wilbur had buried himself in Techno’s chest during the attack, squeezing his eyes shut the whole time even as whatever blood came out of the corpses sprayed over the two. Yet, even after the conflict (Techno could hardly call it a fight), Wil refused to move, trembling as his godfather held him close. He didn’t even open his eyes when the piglin tried to nurse him with a regeneration potion. 

But Techno couldn’t worry about that at the moment. He still needed to get the kid back home, cleaned up, and fed. Passively noting the moon hanging in crescent phase directly overhead, Techno added late supper to the list of rules he had managed to break within one day of having Phil’s kid. Exhaustion clawed at his muscles as he squinted through the darkness to check the compass, making sure he was actually heading in the direction of the cottage.

Much to Techno’s dismay, the two were a solid 30 minutes away from home, leaving the piglin ready to sleep for 40 days and nights before ever daring to open his eyes.

Yet, there was still work to do.

Techno carried Wil out to the pond to change the kid out of his soiled clothes and clean his hair and face of blood while getting what he could off himself. The whole time Wilbur looked ready to burst into tears again, but something kept him resilient, only letting his breath shudder. 

Finishing off the impromptu bath, the piglin swaddled his godchild in a towel to dry him off as he shuffled back into the warm light of the cabin. Techno nearly melted to the floor right then and there, feeling gravity’s tug on him more than he ever had. But there was still more to do. 

Dressing Wil in a white, woolen sweater and the softest pants Techno could find in the kid’s wardrobe, he set the kid down at his chair at the table and pulled out a pie from the chest.

“I figured we both deserve this,” Techno mumbled through his haze of exhaustion, setting the tin down between them and handing Wilbur a fork.

In silence, the two ate the pumpkin pie. The spices mixing with the sweetness made it the best thing Techno had eaten in years under the context of the night. Looking across the table, he couldn’t tell how much Wil was enjoying the treat. He was eating it like he was starving, but not with that same joy and giddiness Techno had come to expect over his time visiting.  _ God, Phil is going to kill me for traumatizing his kid. _

Left with an empty tin, Techno’s mouth stretched open into a yawn, finally prepare to sleep. “Ok, Wilbur. Time for bed. Up, let’s go.” He stood and began ushering the kid out of his seat and up the stairs, but Wil stopped at the foot of the stairs, looking up at Techno with glistening eyes.

“T-Tek?”  _ Oh god, he’s gonna cry again. _

“Yeah, Wilbur?” He didn’t have enough effort in him to keep the softness from his voice.

“Can I s-sleep with you…? ‘m s-scared…,” Wil admitted with a small and cautious voice. His hands gripped at the hems of his sweater and his eyes focused on Techno’s hooves.

The piglin let out a light sigh, far too tired to fight himself on the decision. “Yeah, come ‘ere kid.” With a grunt, Techno lifted the toddler into his arms again, drifting into the guest room and falling onto his back on the bed. 

Pulling the lime green blanket over both of them, Techno drifted to sleep with Wilbur curled up on his chest. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh goodness, thank you so very much for reading up till this point! You have all of my gratitude! Hopefully, you'll stick around for more! We still have a whole week of Techno's A+ parenting here so there's that to look forward to!
> 
> Again, any and all comments are so very welcome here! Even the smallest ones bring writers joy! Just comment on fanfiction in general! The authors of all the fics you read love seeing comments of every kind.
> 
> My art tumblr is @raisans-art where I have some Godfather Techno art and just general Dream SMP art! I'd love it if you dropped by!
> 
> Thank you so much again for reading! Stay healthy


	3. So, I'm Scary

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The morning after is somehow more exhausting than the night before.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, and thank you for coming by for another chapter! It's greatly appreciated!
> 
> Comments are great if you have any thoughts or criticisms so please at least consider commenting!
> 
> Enjoy this new chapter!

The morning had long passed by the time Techno was rudely awoken by a sharp tug at his jaw. Blearily blinking to combat the sharp brightness of his temporary room, he took a moment to focus his eyes on a very similarly sleepy child, who had taken to weakly tugging at Techno’s blunt tusks. On second look, Wil seemed to actually still be asleep, arms instinctively trying to draw whatever they had in their grasp closer to his chest. A rough groan dragged itself out of the piglin’s throat, his voice utterly destroyed from yesterday’s endeavor. He sat up, jostling the toddler awake. With surprising resilience, Wilbur still held on, loosely hanging off of the tusks.

“Ok Wilbur,” Techno mumbled out as best as he could with the new weight dragging his lower jaw down. His mouth stretched into a silent yawn as he lifted the kid, pulling him onto his lap and out of reach of his face. Still trying to blink the last scraps of sleep away, he continued, “We gotta go eat lunch.”

Wil sleepily rubbed gunk from the corners of his eyes. “Wha’ ‘bout breakfas’?”

“S’past mornin’, Wilbur.”

“Brunch?” the toddler inquired, gripping onto Techno as he hauled himself out of bed with the kid still cradled in his arms.

“What’s ‘brunch?’”

“Breakfas’ for lunch.”

“Fine.” What was he supposed to do? Say no? Breakfast for lunch sounded like the best thing ever in Techno’s opinion.

Dropping Wil off at his chair, Techno prepared scrambled eggs again, trying to ignore the times he fumbled with the shells or almost rested his hand on the heated surface. He just thanked whatever gods existed on account that Wilbur was still geared to fall face-first into the table from residual exhaustion so he couldn’t do that stupid little giggle whenever Techno messed up. They were both tired from last night.

_ Speaking of which… how the hell do I handle that mess? Should I… talk to him about it? Scold him for running off? Say sorry for not watching him? Just not bring it up??? _ Contacting Phil for advice would probably help greatly since a) Phil was a fellow human, and b) Wilbur was his kid. Then again, if Phil knew that Techno almost neglected his child to death, he might trident Techno to death.

Sitting down at the table with his and Wilbur’s eggs, the piglin stared at the yellow mush as he contemplated further.

_ But Wilbur will probably tell Philza the moment he gets back… He has no reason to NOT tell his dad about how he almost died in an abandoned mineshaft. Then Phil would know I withheld information and I’m right back to being dead in the end.  _ There was really no way of survival unless he ran now and never came back.

Techno lifted his intense gaze to watch his godchild for a minute. Wil was chewing on his eggs with a level of caution that shouldn’t ever be executed by anyone about  _ eggs. _

He let out a hefty sigh.

_ I hate kids. _

Gingerly pulling out his communicator from where it was clipped to his belt, he began to send a private message to Philza.

**_You whispered to Ph1LzA:_ ** _ phil i need some advice. _

**_Ph1LzA whispered to you:_ ** _ sure mate, whats up? _

The response was nearly immediate, causing a spike in Techno’s anxiety. With a few silent goodbyes, Techno shot another message back, spilling everything out in an instant.

**_You whispered to Ph1LzA:_ ** _ ok so yesterday i let wilbur out and cleaned my axe but i forgot to give him the compass and he ran off while i wasnt looking and got lost and i dont know when but it was nearly sunset when i figured out he was gone so went looking for him and i found him in an abandoned mineshaft in the middle of the night and i had to kill some zombies and we didnt get bak till midnight and now i dont knwo what to do because hes not talking like usual hes just sitting here listen phil im sorry i think i traumatized your kid phil what do i do? _

No response came for a solid 10 minutes, leaving Techno to stew in his thoughts as he ate his eggs while the voices collectively screamed at him for telling Phil. They all yelled at him to gather as many resources as he could and prepare for a fight. The ever unsatisfied chants for blood rose to record heights, accompanied by “Technoblade never dies” and encouragement that he could totally beat up his friend before Phil knew what hit him. It all made Techno want to throw up whatever he had managed to get into his mouth.

A flash and ping emanated from the communicator left on the table.

Wil looked about ready to ask what Techno was doing, but a quick, pointed glare from him kept the toddler quiet while he checked the message.

**_Ph1LzA whispered to you:_ ** _ you fuckin WHAT? _

Even knowing that it was coming didn’t stop the way the piglin’s chest seized up upon reading the message with every bit of subtext he could glean from 3 words.

**_You whispered to Ph1LzA:_ ** _ i know that sounds bad but listen phil, i found him again! That counts for somethin, right? _

**_Ph1LzA whispered to you:_ ** _ YOU BET YOUR ARSE THIS LOOKS BAD YOU ALMOST GOT MY SON KILLED! _

**_Ph1LzA whispered to you:_ ** _ FOUND OR NOT YOU LOST WIL CHRIST SAKE DUDE! _

**_You whispered to Ph1LzA:_ ** _ listen man, what do i do with the child now? _

**_Ph1LzA whispered to you:_ ** _ hold on, I need to process the fact that you nearly got my son killed. _

**_Ph1LzA whispered to you:_ ** _ he’s probably still shaken up by the whole experience. You’re gonna have to sit down and have a talk with him and let him get his emotions about it out. I’ll handle it when I get back. _

**_You whispered to Ph1LzA:_ ** _ are you coming back early? _

**_Ph1LzA whispered to you:_ ** _ fuck no! I’m nearly to the village and I have to spend a couple of days building up trade with the villagers. You have to deal with this, Techno. _

Rubbing at his eyes, Techno already foresaw this being the ultimate conclusion. A part of him was banking on the thought that maybe, just maybe, Phil might turn back at the news and ask that Techno never be allowed to watch his kid again. Of course, he wasn’t ever that lucky.

**_You whispered to Ph1LzA:_ ** _ i hear ya. ill talk to the kid _

**_Ph1LzA whispered to you:_ ** _ sooner rather than later, Techno. _

Grinding out a groan, Techno rubbed at the bridge of his snout, brows furrowed in thought. He didn’t bother sending any message back to Phil, not wanting to take his chances with anything at this point. 

Across the table, Wilbur stared with wide eyes as he fiddled with an empty bowl. 

Techno kicked himself with his hoof.

_ Sooner rather than later. _

“Wilbur.” He addressed his godchild with explicit intent to get the whole event over with.

“Mhm?” was all that came back from the child.

Techno scrabbled for a proper way to open the discussion. His social difficulties were only compounded by the difficulties that came with toddlers. “About last night. It was… you… it’s…,” he needed to pause. “It scared you, right?”

Wilbur’s eyes drifted to the bottom of his bowl, mouth idly chewing on his wooden fork. “Mhm.”

“Well… Yeah uh… That’s why you don’t go off without an adult, right?”

It took the kid a second to respond. Within his moment of hesitation, Wil’s face tightened and he scrunched in on himself. Again, he merely let out a muffled, “mhm.”

Techno wanted to shake that expression off of his godchild’s face. The whole conversation wasn’t making emotional sense to him. He’s talking about what happened, and what happened has passed, so why was the kid still scared? The fight was over. Techno won. “Are you still scared?” was all he could think to ask.

“Mhm.” Wil nodded with his hums, pushing more of the fork into his mouth like he was trying to fight his uvula.

“Why?” None of this made sense.

The fork finally came out.

“You w’r scary…”

“Oh.”

_ Why didn’t I think of that? _

Racking his brain for solutions, Techno pushed himself out from the table, leaning back to stare at the ceiling above.  _ What would Phil do?  _ The voices were being ever unhelpful with increasingly grotesque suggestions.

“Tek?” The toddler’s small voice pipped up, calling the piglin to lift his head. Wilbur looked ready to cry again. 

Quickly rubbing at his eyes, Techno recalled how Phil would just hug Wil for no other reason than the kid existed. Resigning himself to the fate of actually being a godfather to Wilbur for a moment, he opened his arms with reluctance. “Come here for a second, Wilbur.” Once the toddler dropped from his seat and shuffled over to Techno, he scooped Wil up and wrapped his arms around his godchild, nearly completely enveloping the kid in the embrace. “I… uh… So. You thought Tek looked scary last night.” He could feel Wil nod against his shoulder.

“You looked angry.”

Techno thought for a second. “I was.”

“Because of me?” Wilbur’s voice was small and cautious.

“It’s…” Techno needed to think for a moment, “... complicated. But I can say that you scared me too.”

Wil’s grip on the piglin tightened. “How?”

“I lost you and thought I’d never find you again,” he admitted.

“... So I’m scary?”

Techno shook his head. “No. Only the situations you get yourself into are.”

“So the zombies are scary?”

“Only when they’re hunting you.”

“Are the caves scary?”

“Only when you’re lost in them.”

“Is the dark scary?”

“Only when you’re not in the light.”

“So, I’m scary.”

“Only sometimes.”

Wilbur seemed to mull over Techno’s words for a while, tiny cogs working double-time to process the facts and emotions. Finally, he asks, “Were you angry at the zombies and the caves and the dark for making me scary?”

Techno didn’t understand how that made perfect sense, but it just did. “Yeah. And I know… when I get angry, I get scary.” He had to take a breath and pray for a second that he could say the right thing. “But… I get… I… hmm.” Words escaped him as he searched for a way to be honest and comforting. “You… make me angry at the world. And the whole world thinks I’m scary. So…” he could barely reconcile with himself on how this was supposed to be helping. “so. I get angry to protect what I need to protect, and you’re what I need to protect. I’m here to protect you, Wilbur, not to scare you.”

Silence drew out between the two, Wil burying himself deeper into the hug. There was no confirmation of understanding or confusion, just a heavy quiet that clogged the air around them.

Wilbur pushed gently against Techno’s chest, the latter loosening his grip so the toddler could lean back and look up at him. Millions of thoughts swam behind Wil’s eyes that all compressed into one as he inquired, “so you’re not angry at me now?”

“No.”

With a small hum, Wil asked, “can you read me a book today?”

“Sure.” Techno guessed the kid needed it.

Techno sorted the dishes out, subconsciously keeping Wilbur balanced on his left arm as he worked. Finishing up, the piglin started ascending the stairs to Wilbur’s room. “What do you want me to read to you?”

The excitement started to seep back into the toddler as the prospect of reading grew closer. “The one about you and Dah! With the Snow Kingdom!”

“The Antarctic Empire?”

“Yeah!”

Entering the child’s room, Technoblade spotted a bookshelf filled with histories and the odd picture book scattered within and every remaining space stuffed with map scrolls and drawings. Sitting down on the carpeting, Techno pulled out Phil’s account of the Antarctic Empire. The leather cover was worn and flaking and the pages were soft, losing their edge. “You’ve read this a lot.” There was no question about it.

Wilbur nodded eagerly. “Mhm! It’s my favourite!”

He was on the verge of opening the cover to begin retelling the same old story before an idea crossed Technoblade’s mind. “Hey, how ‘bout a different story? One that you surely have never heard before.”

Looking up with a spark of curiosity in his eyes, Wilbur asked, “What’s it about?”

“It’s about one of my great endeavors, called the Great Potato War.”

\--

Hours passed as Techno recounted his triumphs during the Great Potato War to his godchild, knowing full well that a lot of the intricacies of his strategies were flying far above the younger’s head. Still, Wilbur seemed to enjoy it, bouncing on the piglin’s leg as he proudly stated each time he managed to foil his opponent. Looking down at Wil’s face and seeing the tot positively beaming at Techno, he refused to acknowledge the tugs he felt at the corner of his lips.

Dinner time came around the moment Techno saw the vibrant oranges of the sunset bleed into the daytime sky. The last thing he wanted to do was continue straying from Phil’s rulebook on raising human kids. For dinner Techno, wanted to keep it simple, so he cleaned off some carrots and baked a couple of potatoes on the stove, in homage to the story he just retold. 

The choice of carrots as part of the meal lead to a table battle between godfather and godson where Techno was trying to shove a carrot into the kid’s gullet while Wilbur protested and threw a fit over it.

“Just eat the carrot, Wilbur!” Techno shouted, getting the toddler into a headlock.

“I don’t wanna!!!” Wil whined back, squirming and pushing with all his might against the piglin’s large and built arm.

“Why!? Carrots are the least offensive vegetable!” he retorted, trying to press the carrot end against Wil’s pursed lips.

“I don’t like it!” came out the muffled reply.

“What about carrots could you not like!?” Techno asked, finally dropping the carrot back onto Wil’s plate.

“They’re hairy!!”

Techno paused, staring incredulously at Wilbur. “What?”

“They’re hairy,” the toddler replied with a pout, glaring at the offending carrot.

A heavy groan forced itself out the piglin’s chest as he rubbed his face. “You’ve gotta be kidding me-- It was the fact that they weren’t peeled!?” he complained, grabbing the carrot and pulling out his axe, beginning to shave off the outer layer of the carrot. “I swear to the End and back, Phil, you are so dumb sometimes,” he muttered before slamming the freshly peeled carrot on the wooden plate. “Here. Now eat.”

Gingerly, Wil took the carrot and gnawed on the end for a bit before brightening considerably and throwing himself back into his dinner. Running an idle hand through his still matted hair, Techno sunk back into his own chair, watching Wilbur intently while ignoring his own plate. 

Night swiftly descended when dinner was finished, and Techno found himself facing his final trial of the day.

“‘M not tired!” Wil petulantly whined as he ran around the table.

“I don’t care! Just get into bed, Wilbur I’m not letting you stay up.” Techno growled at the kid as he internally cursed at Wil’s small and dexterous body as it slipped between every leg he could. “Wilbur!” Lunging forward and grasping the toddler by the waist, Techno glared.

Still, Wilbur squirmed. “‘M not tired, ‘m not tired, ‘m not tired!” He kicked at the air and slapped against Techno’s pink skin “I wanna hear more stories! I wanna play!”

“Too bad. You’re going to bed. If you don’t sleep now you’ll be tired when I wake you up in the morning,” Techno reasoned, knowing full well that Wilbur wouldn’t give two shits about reason. Still, he hoisted the flailing child up and into his room, sitting him down on his bed. “I’m going to bed, you’re going to bed, and that’s it. I’ll wake you in the morning for breakfast.” Having his final say, Techno turned to leave the room.

Wil quieted, crossing his arms over his chest in a huff. “Can I get a bedtime story?”

Not even bothering to look over his shoulder before closing the door, Technoblade responded plainly. 

“No.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for finishing this chapter! I really appreciate you getting all the way through!
> 
> Again, critiques are welcome, as well as any general comments on your thoughts! I love reading comments and they help with motivation! More Godfather Techno content on my Tumblr, @raisans-art, and just in general Dream SMP art!
> 
> Thank you so so much for reading! Stay healthy


End file.
